Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My vagina is officially offended.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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