You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
NoShamevember. You game?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
