she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
