The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
