I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
