Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
