he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
