Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
