yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
