Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
