If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
