As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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