Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Pants are for mortals
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
