Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
