Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize