Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
