Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
