I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
