Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Mom said you looked used
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
