We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Your cock deserves a montage
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
