A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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