Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
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