i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
