A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
