I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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