if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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