Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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