it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
