Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
