I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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