id be glad to
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
