the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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