hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
