I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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