At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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