i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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