did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize