apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
