Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
