Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.

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(770): View more from Georgia

Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.

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(937): View more from Ohio

he is so annoying

(513): View more from Ohio

so stop sleeping with him

(937): View more from Ohio

yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk

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(714): View more from California

We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her

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(903): View more from Texas

She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.

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(801): View more from Utah

im getting coffee to go get coffee.

(435): View more from Utah

Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives

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(440): View more from Ohio

i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.

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