i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
