hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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