I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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