I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
