3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Even my vagina gasped.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
