I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
