the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
