I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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