Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
