if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
