dude i'm inner monologue high
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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