The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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