these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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