Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
