Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
