My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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