**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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