btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
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