just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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