So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
