My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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