I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
