No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The best revenge is premature balding
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
