i don't plan on having that self control this summer
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
