I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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