Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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