Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
