about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
