Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
This is the high leading the old right now
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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