I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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