Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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