when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
