Me too!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
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